With tragic recent events, tenants’ safety has never had such a large, unsettling question mark looming over it.
Renting has often been described as a “mug’s game”, but even if that is the way you choose to live your life, you’d better make sure you’re only throwing money at your landlord, and not your own blood and entrails in a futile last-ditch attempt to escape the ‘spacious double room’ you’re currently being massacred in.
So to protect our valuable and difficult to tap demographic, The Shoe Horn has scoured years worth of British news reports to identify the 5 key warning signs YOU need to be looking out for.
1. They live alone
People who live alone should generally be treated with caution. Living alone may be a sign of sociopathy or other personality disorders which may make living with other people difficult. It may mean this person has secrets or practices that an impartial flatmate or partner would find disturbing.
2. Eccentric appearance
Wild, unkept hair is a surefire sign something’s not quite right. When was the last time you went to a job interview with wild hair or a concealing beard? What is a landlord getting up to if they’re not in full-time employment? People like this choose to live on the fringes of society, and they choose it for a reason.
3. Keeps cats
Cats are sinister, secretive animals and efficient killers. It’s no wonder then that a man who chooses to live outside the normal boundaries of society should find solace in these creatures. Note: owning multiple cats may be a sign of eccentricity.
4. Builds model airplanes
There’s something strange about people who collect or build things. It shows a man has too much time on his hands, and possibly needs something to distract from other thoughts or urges.
5. Former school headmaster or scout leader
It seems you can’t open a newspaper these days without reading about an atrocity carried out by a former headmaster or scout leader. These people are defined by their work – and that work is all about two things: fear and control. When was the last time you saw a headmaster or scout leader drinking at a sports bar?