The Shoe Horn’s top 5 signs your landlord is a murderer

landlord

Not a murderer: Chris Jefferies didn't murder anyone, but his eccentric lifestyle and appearance certainly had investigators fooled

With tragic recent events, tenants’ safety has never had such a large, unsettling question mark looming over it.

Renting has often been described as a “mug’s game”, but even if that is the way you choose to live your life, you’d better make sure you’re only throwing money at your landlord, and not your own blood and entrails in a futile last-ditch attempt to escape the ‘spacious double room’ you’re currently being massacred in.

So to protect our valuable and difficult to tap demographic, The Shoe Horn has scoured years worth of British news reports to identify the 5 key warning signs YOU need to be looking out for.

1. They live alone

People who live alone should generally be treated with caution. Living alone may be a sign of sociopathy or other personality disorders which may make living with other people difficult. It may mean this person has secrets or practices that an impartial flatmate or partner would find disturbing.

2. Eccentric appearance

Wild, unkept hair is a surefire sign something’s not quite right. When was the last time you went to a job interview with wild hair or a concealing beard? What is a landlord getting up to if they’re not in full-time employment? People like this choose to live on the fringes of society, and they choose it for a reason.

HH Holmes

Landlords from Hell: H. H. Holmes may have clocked up as many as 200 murders in his (at least honestly titled) 'Murder Castle'

3. Keeps cats

Cats are sinister, secretive animals and efficient killers. It’s no wonder then that a man who chooses to live outside the normal boundaries of society should find solace in these creatures. Note: owning multiple cats may be a sign of eccentricity.

4. Builds model airplanes

There’s something strange about people who collect or build things. It shows a man has too much time on his hands, and possibly needs something to distract from other thoughts or urges.

5. Former school headmaster or scout leader

It seems you can’t open a newspaper these days without reading about an atrocity carried out by a former headmaster or scout leader. These people are defined by their work – and that work is all about two things: fear and control. When was the last time you saw a headmaster or scout leader drinking at a sports bar?

Related Stories »

13 comments on The Shoe Horn’s top 5 signs your landlord is a murderer

  1. joey mayhem
    / Reply

    As a former freelance criminologist assisting such publications as The Telegraph, I can firmly attest to the accuracy of this piece

    Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  2. Keith from Aberdeen
    / Reply

    Unsettling, but cannot question the accuracy

    Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  3. Charlotte P
    / Reply

    Extremely high quality reporting. Will be seriously reconsidering my current tenant’s agreement. Thank you Shoe Horn!

    Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  4. Dave From Ipswich
    / Reply

    Oh no, I hit 4/5 of them already, i’m also a landlord

    Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  5. penny smith
    / Reply

    string him up!!!

    Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  6. / Reply

    Nice topic – respect !

    Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  7. Orbinaneize
    / Reply

    Takk fyrir ahugaverdar upplysingar

    Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  8. Pingback: fsgb80v7cbwe

  9. uc4a5g73vc
    / Reply

    and apologized for others.Bob Inskeep, associate pastor of First Presbyterian Church in Raleigh said Hill’s daughter discovered Hill in h
    [u][url=http://www.buywilsonracket.com]wilson Prince EXO3 Racquets[/url][/u]
    arge capacity magazines and has sold out of the AR-15, one of the most popular types. People have been buying them up for fear they w
    [u][url=http://www.jewellerycheapest.com]www.jewellerycheapest.com[/url][/u]
    reenville, N.C. — A South Carolina woman who admitted to killing her soldier daughter on Fort Bragg in February 2010 was sentenced t
    [url=http://www.buywilsonracket.com]Wilson K Factor Tennis Racquets[/url]
    continues Tuesday before the opening bell, with quarterly reports from PepsiCo, Verizon, Morgan Stanley and Union Pacific railroad.Dow Jo
    [u][url=http://www.jewellerycheapest.com]www.jewellerycheapest.com[/url][/u]

    Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  10. tz1p5t37dp
    / Reply

    aymond Kelly said, noting the race’s security plans will be reevaluated.According to Running USA’s website, a record 30 marathons had more
    [b][url=http://www.cheapguccishoesbuy.com]Gucci Shoes[/url][/b]
    ng the mechanics of players at the ML level. Proper thinking comes from studying the game, experiences gain from playing, and a willingness
    [i][url=http://www.neweracapsstoreonline.com]New Era snapback[/url][/i]
    Oct. 16, and was a healthy extra for Carolina’s games at Vancouver, San Jose, Los Angeles and Phoenix during his recall. The Regina,
    [b][url=http://www.cheapguccishoesbuy.com]Gucci Handbags[/url][/b]
    lina who can stay on their parents’ health plan until age 26, and she also has an auto-immune disease that could scare insurance companies
    [url=http://www.neweracapsstoreonline.com]New Era Arizona Diamondbacks Hats[/url]

    Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  11. xmfnfuef5304
    / Reply

    ?t mardi.washington – relancer une id锟斤拷e qu’ils flottaient ann锟斤拷e derni锟斤拷re, les sondeurs patrick caddell et douglas schoen dit le pr锟斤拷sident barack obama devrait d锟斤拷missionner pour le bien du parti et du pay
    [url=http://www.buylongchampdiscount.com/New 2013 Longchamp]New 2013 Longchamp[/url]
    qui explique pourquoi les micro-ondes qui rebondissent autour de l’int锟斤拷rieur d’un four 锟斤拷 micro-ondes sont rapidement absorb锟斤拷s par n’importe quel aliment inside.the 锟斤拷nergie des micro-ondes est ensuite con
    [i][url=http://www.skijacketsforsales.com/Doudoune Canada Goose]Doudoune Canada Goose[/url][/i]
    d锟斤拷es i-35 pr锟斤拷s du boulevard randolph peu apr锟斤拷s 7 heures 锟斤拷tait l’un des trois accidents que le trafic routier nou锟斤拷 锟斤拷 la hauteur de la pointe du matin hour.at un moment donn锟斤拷, les enqu锟斤拷teurs de la circu
    [b]http://www.skijacketsforsales.com/Canada Goose Soldes[/b]
    c raisons du scepticisme qui a accueilli ses propos:.? medvedev est le chef de russie unie et a 锟斤拷t锟斤拷 le meilleur candidat sur la liste du parti 锟斤拷 l’锟斤拷lection. il nomme le procureur et les juges en chef, qui
    [url=http://www.buylongchampdiscount.com/Longchamp Le Pliage Bags]Longchamp Le Pliage Bags[/url]

    Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  12. hy9x8j04bj
    / Reply

    oni specializzate pre-caricato per chi cerca lavoro e della missione di entrepreneurs.the wdc 锟斤拷 quello
    [i]http://www.gioielliofferte.com/Juicy Couture Charm Bracciali[/i]
    ecord dovrebbero essere legato lunedi, giovedi e venerd锟斤拷 , secondo le nws , e alti sono destinati a res
    [b]http://www.gioiellinegozio.com/Thomas Sabo Gioielli italia[/b]
    lunteer fire department washington si terr锟斤拷 una cerimonia 9/11 memorial domani ( sabato) , 11 settembre
    [url=http://www.gioielliofferte.com/Swarovski Collane]Swarovski Collane[/url]
    otificato parker per lettera la scorsa settimana che ha respinto il reclamo perch锟斤拷 le informazioni p
    [u]http://www.gioiellinegozio.com/Links of London milano[/u]

    Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  13. co9x8u79fm
    / Reply

    martin luther king drive. ring maria andrews p? 486 ? 205 .ni kandidater er med i opl?bet for district 44 s
    [b][url=http://www.udsalgbilligejakker.com/Peak Performance Vest]Peak Performance Vest[/url][/b]
    ilstand titel. se p8 .steeles malcolm brown og marquis anderson vil afslutte deres gymnasietid karriere l?r
    [i][url=http://www.taskertilbud2013.com/Marc By Marc Jacobs Tasker]Marc By Marc Jacobs Tasker[/url][/i]
    n stj?len motorcykel , da han flygtede fra en officer, der jagtede ham sydg?ende p? interstate.at den south
    [u]http://www.udsalgbilligejakker.com/Kvinders Moncler Vosges jackets[/u]
    ls kan ses p? ci.boerne.tx.us .claude og grace elliott byggede et hjem p? toppen af ??deres stald til deres
    [i][url=http://www.taskertilbud2013.com/Marc By Marc Jacobs Tasker]Marc By Marc Jacobs Tasker[/url][/i]

    Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *