A gang of MPs attacked a 38-year-old father of three yesterday after he took a wrong turn down an upmarket West London street.
Down-on-his-luck Mark Pritchard, a former council worker from Lambeth, was walking past Mayfair’s Claridge’s Bar at around 5pm when he caught the attention of a group of intoxicated backbenchers.
Standing in the doorway smoking cigars and laughing loudly, witnesses claim one of the MPs pointed to Mr Pritchard, shouting “Here’s one of them now” – prompting the rest of the group to start jeering and heckling.
Moments later Pritchard realised he was being followed, as taunts of “dustbin pleb” and “low wage gnat” grew louder. Suddenly the married South Londoner found himself knocked cruelly to the ground, the Westminster gang encircling him like a pack of frenzied hyenas.
Wearing a tie around his forehead and yelling “Bring me the head of the cock-piss peasant”, ringleader, Chesterton Mills (Tory MP for Southwark), drove a mid-sized port bottle into the man’s cheek, prompting the rest of the gang to start laying into him with their fists and shins.
Mills, 42, then proceeded to drag the barely conscious man into the street, beckoning passing cars to drive over the now bloodied and bruised legs, pausing only to carve a gaping hole into Pritchard’s right thigh with a pocket knife.
Now laughing hysterically, the Harrow old-boy then vomited into the open wound and left chortling down New Bond Street.
A public relations officer for the Tory party said, if found guilty, Chesterton and his co-accused could face being docked part or all of their £150,000 winter fuel bonuses.
Have you been viciously attacked by a gang of MPs? The Shoehorn would like to hear from you.