Al Quaeda equip female terrorists with explosive tampons

Al Quaeda, in attempts to foil post-9/11 airport security, have created possibly the ultimate in concealed anti-personel devices: the directed energy high explosive tampon.

Constructed from cotton and Semtex, the explosive tampon has an effective kill-radius of 5 meters, and with the directed energy effects could quite easily blow a hole in an airplane floor fuselage.

Explosive tampons

Sempax: the explosive tampon is activated covertly by pulling the concealed string

Activated by pulling the string, Al Quaeda scientists believe the strong feminine odour would deter sniffer dogs from inspecting the crotch area, or at least cause shame and embarrassment to the dogs and their handlers.

Sempax

For nearby passengers the effects could be devastating

A spokesman for BA has already come out and described their position on explosive tampons as “Stumped and unnerved”, with many in the industry considering the procedures needed to properly check for explosive tampons as potentially less pleasant than the consequences of one actually bringing down an airliner.

One solution put forward by health secretary Andrew Lansley is an outright ban on menstruating women being allowed to fly, although critics have already found ways even this system could be breached.

For now, air passengers are being advised to travel as normal. More news as it unfolds.

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11 comments on Al Quaeda equip female terrorists with explosive tampons

  1. Joseph Frazzle
    / Reply

    Shall be cancelling my flight to France immediately

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  2. Keith from Aberdeen
    / Reply

    Pant-wettingly terrifying how far directed energy technology has come

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  3. sarah.c
    / Reply

    i’ve had some fairly explosive periods. not like this tho

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  4. Steven Bauers
    / Reply

    Airlines shuld reinforce the fuselage floors with reinforced titanium. At least wud absorb most the blast and minimise casualties.

    Might increase fuselage weight and fuel costs, not sure by how much tho

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  5. Hugh L
    / Reply

    Incredibly informative journalism. Yet another reason to maintain hyper-vigilance

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  6. milly
    / Reply

    this is outrageous. these people do terrible things

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  7. Stu Diablo from Gilbraltar
    / Reply

    stay alurt people. when your up against things like this, we have to be ekstra vegelant!

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  8. Ken Whoosh.
    / Reply

    Be vigilant. Always.

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  9. phan mem diet virus
    / Reply

    I’m not positive where you are getting your information, but good topic. I needs to spend some time learning more or working out more. Thanks for wonderful info I was searching for this information for my mission.

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  11. Lady
    / Reply

    Right, like a tampon can only be used for “menstruating women”
    I reckon men could employ these just as effectively, and a woman needn’t be bleeding to use a tampon. Sort of missed the mark in the possible solutions department.

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